“Those who spend (in Allah’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves the good-doers.” [Surah Al-Imran, 133-134]
As humans we go through many emotions that we feel unable to control like love, hate, fear, anger…etc. Every man feels these emotions in him according to conditions and circumstances. Thus, he likes and dislikes, becomes afraid or enraged in certain situations. Each emotion offers some profit to man if used correctly. But equally, there is the grave danger of provoking harm if they are used incorrectly. Harm will be inflicted not only on others but also will backfire on the inflictor.
For instance, Allah, the Almighty, made fear in the human soul so that he might protect himself against danger, and stay away from evil and crime. For such an occasion, fear is a good way to keep man from evil and corruption.
The faithful who fears Allah also fears committing sins and evil deeds. But there is a difference between fear and cowardice. It is not right for the faithful to be a coward or to be controlled by weakness, without standing up to an aggressor or without confronting oppression, evil and corruption. Being afraid in a cowardly way only leads to being submitted to humiliation and aggression.
Anger as an emotion existing in the human soul, has a useful aim for man and can be a counterbalance to cowardice if he uses it in a correct way.
Man should be angry about an evil action or corruption in society. He should be angry for the right, for Allah alone, and he should defend good and goodness. But anger can harm himself and other people and can be changed to evil if he becomes angry for meaningless causes and does not control himself, allowing his anger to overwhelm his will. Anger then pushes man to oppress others and to commit crimes by its uncontrollable use, which is in gross disobedience to Allah.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) forbids man against such anger but considers one who controls himself when he is confronted with evil sufficient to make him angry, as a man strong in will, mind and wisdom. He is more powerful than a wrestler, as his mental control is more than physical strength, and defeats evil and aggression not only in others but also in himself.
Repressing anger kills the situation that can get ugly very soon and that is why Allah has prescribed it for us. Allah has mentioned repressing anger and forgiveness again and again in the Quran by giving examples of his Prophets as well. Allah says in the Quran “Prophet Ibrahim’s (PBUH) father said to him: “I will surely stone you, so avoid me a prolonged time.” [Surat Maryam: 46) He (PBUH) responded: “Peace be upon you.” [Surat Maryam: 47]. Such a simple diffusing answer. The control of anger is palpable and nothing but blessings come out of the Prophet’s mouth.
A person should know that anger is the key to every evil and to getting rid of anger is the key to all good qualities. The effect on the tongue is that it speaks words of slander and foul language which the wise person would feel ashamed of, and the angry person regrets them when he calms down.
Tips to Control Your Anger
- Seek refuge in Allah
Anger is from Shaitan so who can break it better than Allah, the Exalted. The Prophet (pbuh) advised us to recite “A’udhu billahi minash-Shaitan nir-rajim” every time we feel our blood boiling. This translates to “I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed.”
- Change positions
If you feel anger while you are standing, sit down. If you feel anger while sitting, lie down.
- Be Quiet when Angry.
While we are angry, we are tempted to say so much. But a word to the wise. If you give in to this temptation, you will live to regret it and the damage you will cause will not be easy to mend. As Muslims, we are advised to speak good or remain silent.
- Remind Yourself of the fruits of Controlling Anger
Once a man came to Prophet Mohammad and said, “Messenger of God, teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, in case I forget.” He said, “Do not be angry.” (Saheeh Bukhari)
In Islam it is not wrong to avenge once a person has been wronged but to Pardon and reconcile has much greater rewards.
- Deviate your mind and perform ablution
Busy yourself in some productive work rather than vent out your anger. If you have nothing to do, make ablution. Deviating your mind helps like magic.
- Relax and let it go
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings.
Certainly, Allah, the Exalted is All-Forgiving Who forgives His servants and tolerates them and He also loves His servants to forgive each other, to tolerate each other and not be vindictive to each other.
