R Ashwin is unmatched in his dedication to the game of cricket. The 36-year-old boarded the first flight out of London the day after India lost the World Test Championship final in order to join Dindigul Dragons in the Tamil Nadu Premier League in Coimbatore. He even left his family behind. The off-spinner, who has 474 Test wickets, took a break from fighting jet lag to engage in a lengthy talk at a local hotel while enjoying his favourite black coffee and some idlies.
It would be silly to turn inside and declare, “Okay, someone is judging me.” I believe that at this point in my career, I am not in a position to care what people think of me. I am aware of my capabilities. I’m my own greatest critic when I’m bad at something. And because I don’t rest on my laurels, I’ll work on it. I wasn’t ever created that way. So it is irrelevant to consider who is evaluating me.
It’s not a setback for me. I’ll continue because I’ve already overcome that stumbling hurdle. You react instinctively when someone knocks you down for the first time. To become accustomed to it and learn how to get back up again, I believe you need experience being knocked down occasionally during your life. Life is just like that. It is a setback whether you are at the top of your game or not. The fact that you must learn how to handle it is crucial.
Sunil Gavaskar recently asserted that the idea of “horses for courses” only applies to bowlers or spinners and does not apply to hitters. Do you concur?
This is a factual story, and I don’t base my opinions on fiction. I once watched the India-Sri Lanka game and noticed that India’s bowling was in terrible shape. My favourite player was Sachin Tendulkar, and we used to leak whatever runs he made with the ball. I once believed that I would make a great bowler. Is it possible for me to outperform the other bowlers there right now? Although thinking in this way is incredibly juvenile, that is how I thought, and that is why I began bowling off-spin. It all started here.
Some people will receive 10, while others will receive 15, and still others will receive 20 matches. I was aware that I would only get two the day I donned the Indian hues. I was ready for it as a result. It’s not like I’m being subjected to some sort of unjust treatment. The only reason I’ve gotten better or am where I am in my cricket right now is because I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will only play in two test matches.
I won’t overthink things if someone tells me, “You’re going to play 15 matches, you will be looked after, you will be this, you are responsible for players, you are in the leadership role.” How could I?
To genuinely label someone an overthinker would be disrespectful because that person’s journey is unique to him. Nobody has the authority or responsibility to do that.
I assume that was designed to work against me. And as I mentioned, there have been claims made by others throughout the years when I have been asked about leadership. For example, some have claimed that I am not the first name on the sheet when India tours other countries.
I have no influence over whether or not that name appears first on the sheet. It has to be there if I earned it, in my opinion. As I previously stated, I have no complaints and no time to wallow in self-pity or regret. I don’t regret anything about anybody.
The more I witness it, the more I realise how much trauma it causes my family. My dad struggles with his heart as well as other things. He calls me after every single game and every single day when something happens. He feels anxious. I can go outside and have fun quite easily since I still have control over it. For my father, it is not, and he experiences twice as much hardship as I do. In hindsight, everyone on the outside is irrelevant because of this.
You don’t play and sometimes you are bigger than if you had played the game in this social media age, right? If he had played, people are saying, we would have won. I doubt that we would have triumphed if I had participated. I would have given it my all, and I really believe that I gave myself the best chance to be successful there. I also believe that I merited my stripes. All I can do is that. But as soon as it was finished, all I wanted to do was move on and concentrate on the TNPL for Dindigul Dragons.
Your wife and father were both admitted to the hospital during the second Covid wave, and you were trapped in the IPL bubble and unable to contact any of them. You were unaware of what was taking place. What percentage of that affected you?
How about a little extra enjoyment? If that had happened, I would have stayed home and not taken part in 92 Tests. I’m at peace with the fact that I did the things I did and experienced the things I experienced. I am fully conscious of all I have done and everything I have lost in my life as a result of what I had to do.
Do you reach out to other cricketers for advice or to have an honest discussion?
It’s a complex subject. Everyone is a colleague in this day and age. When cricket was played in the past, everyone on your team was a friend. They are now colleagues. There is a significant difference because individuals in this situation are there to go ahead of others seated to your right or left. Consequently, no one has the time to ask, “Okay, boss, what are you up to?”
In fact, in my opinion, sharing cricket makes it even better. Understanding another person’s method and their path helps to make things better. But it doesn’t occur nearly as frequently as it should. Nobody will come to you for assistance. It’s a lonesome trek. Of course, you can contact any professional you choose, contact a coach, pay a fee, travel there, engage in practise with them, and so on. But occasionally we overlook the fact that cricket is a highly self-taught sport.
I can’t remember anything. Before, around five to six years ago, before I went to sleep, I used to think about some amazing moments, such as obtaining a great wicket or a great ball. Now, I have no memory of anything.
They always say spinners evolve with age. Where is Ashwin as a spinner right now?
It began to hurt by the second Test (in Bangladesh). It was actually becoming bigger. So, ask yourself, “How do I do this?” Because I was a really good bowler for three to four years, correct? It must be the silliest and most absurd thing to do to change the course of my action. I returned and said, “Listen, there’s a lot of load on the knee; it’s time to change, and I’m going back to my action that I used to bowl in 2013–14.”
And I’m pleased to have won Player of the Series. In the past four to five years, I believe that was one of my finest series and my best bowling performance in a series. Even though I’ve done a lot of wonderful things over the past five years, it still felt that way. I’m really proud of myself for doing that at the age of 36 when I look back. I don’t believe there is a greater challenge in life than changing my behaviour and risking my career. Many people develop feelings of insecurity. They are unwilling to try anything new and fail. I can play four more tests using the same action with a lot of ease maybe pick up 15, or 16 wickets, and not feel good about myself.
