Etiquette for the guest in Islam

1. When you visit someone as a guest, do take some gifts for the host or for his children according to your means. Keep in mind the taste and liking of your host while choosing gifts for him. Exchange of presents and gifts augments the sentiments of love and promotes intimate relationship. A gift creates a soft corner in the heart of the receiver for the donor.

2. Do not stay as a guest with anyone for more than three days, save under special circumstances or when the host insists on your staying with him for a longer period. The Prophet (peace be upon him) affirms: “It is not permissible for a guest to stay so long with the host as to cause him trouble.” (Al-Aadab-ul-Mufrad). Sahih Muslim reports: “It is not permissible for a Muslim to stay so long with his brother as to make him a sinner.” The people submitted: “O Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him)! How will a Muslim make his brother a sinner in this manner?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “By staying so long with his brother that his brother may be exhausted of all means of entertaining him.”

3. Do not always be a guest of others. Invite others also to be your guests and entertain them liberally.

4. When you stay as a guest with somebody, take along with you necessary baggage and bedding etc according to the season. In winter especially, never forget to take the bedding with you, otherwise the host will be put to extreme hardship. It is highly improper that the guest shall in any way become an unbearable burden for the host.

5. Keep in mind the engagements and duties of your host. Take care that your host’s occupation, duties and engagements are not in any way disturbed by your presence as a guest with him.

6. Do not make all sorts of demands on your host. Be content with whatever provisions he makes for your comfort and entertainment and thank him for that. Do not put him in any extraordinary trouble.

7. If your host’s women are not your close or blood relation, avoid entering into a conversation with them without reason. Do not eavesdrop on the mutual conversation of your host’s women. Behave yourself in such a manner that your conversation or conduct does not become a nuisance for them. Do not violate the

privacy and the limitations of Purdah in any case.

8. If for some reason you do not wish to eat with your host, or you are observing fast, excuse yourself politely and say a prayer invoking the Grace and Blessings of Allah upon your host. When the Prophet Abraham (peace be upon him) presented a sumptuous meal to his venerable guests and the guests would not partake of it, he said to them: “Gentlemen, why don’t you eat?” In a bid to put him at ease, the angels submitted: “Please do not take it ill. As a matter of fact, we cannot eat. We have come only to convey the glad tidings of the birth of a talented son to you.”

9. When you attend a feast, say a prayer at the end of the meal invoking Allah to bless the host with extensive means, grace, favour, salvation and His Mercy. Abu Athhim bin Tahan once invited the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his illustrious companions to a feast. When the meal was over, the Prophet (peace be upon him) observed: “Reward your brother.” The illustrious companions   submitted: “How can we reward him, O Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him)?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) observed: “When a man pays a visit to his brother and eats and drinks there, he can reward his brother by praying for Allah’s Favour and Blessings upon his brother.” (Abu Dawud). The Prophet (peace be upon him) once visited the house of Sa’ad bin Ubadah. Sa’ad presented to the Prophet (peace be upon him) bread and olive oil. The Prophet (peace be upon him) took the meal and then prayed for him: “May the fasting people break their fasts with your provisions! May the pious partake of your meals and may the angels pray for Allah’s Mercy and forgiveness for you.” (Abu Dawud).

 From Etiquette of Life in Islam, by Muhammad Yousuf Islahi

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